The Break
by QueenBee7
Summary: Kurt and Blaine go on a break. Lots of angst and heartbreak, until they make up in the best way possible.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so I know I should probably be updating my other story, Hands (check it out!), instead, but this idea popped into my head last week and I haven't been able to get it out. This chapter is pretty angsty, but don't worry, the next one will include smut and a happy ending :). So give it a try and let me know what you think! And I will be updating Hands soon as well, for those of you who are awesome enough to be following it!**

The Break - Part I

The idea had been banging around in Blaine's head all summer, and try as he might, he couldn't shake it. He knew that it was a conversation he and Kurt needed to have, but he had been avoiding it, mostly because the thought of how it might end made him feel like his whole world was coming crashing down around him. But it was the right thing to do, and he knew that he owed it to Kurt to at least bring it up, to make sure that Kurt knew all of his options.

He and Kurt were headed to NYU in a week, ready to start a new, fabulous life together in New York City. They had spent the entire summer talking about the Broadway shows they would see, the museums they would visit, the coffeehouses they would become regulars at. It was a dream come true, and they could hardly contain their excitement. _College_. _New York_. And best of all, the two of them together.

It was that last bit that had been nagging at Blaine all summer. Because while he literally could not imagine anything he wanted more than to spend the next four years of his life frolicking around New York with his boyfriend, he worried that perhaps that would not be enough for Kurt. After all, New York City had been Kurt's dream first, before he even knew Blaine. He deserved to get the full experience, to shine as brightly as possible in an environment that would finally accept him for who he was. He should be starting fashion trends, scoring leading roles, making new friends - friends that he actually had a lot in common with. Blaine wanted all of this for Kurt, and he was afraid that if they stayed together, he would hold Kurt back, and Kurt would grow to resent him for it. After all, how could Kurt be expected to reach his full potential if he always had his high school boyfriend (from Ohio, no less) tagging along? Of course, the thought of letting Kurt go made Blaine's heart ache, which was precisely why he had spent all summer avoiding the topic. But he knew he was being selfish, and with one week to go, he decided it was time to suck it up and talk to Kurt.

They had been together all day, and Blaine had spent most of it feeling nauseous and trying to prepare himself for what he was about to do. Every time he was on the verge of opening his mouth, Kurt would do something sweet or adorable, and Blaine's heart would ache so much with love for his boyfriend that the thought of suggesting they end things, even temporarily, was too much to bear. But now it seemed the time had finally come - they were curled up on Blaine's couch in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence, as they often did. Kurt was leaning back against Blaine's chest, flipping through the latest issue of _Vogue_ and allowing Blaine the rare privilege of gently stroking his hair.

Drawing on every last ounce of willpower he possessed, Blaine finally spoke. "Kurt, there's something I want to talk to you about." Oh God. Blaine already hated himself for his choice of words. No good ever came of conversations that started with that phrase.

Kurt seemed to be thinking the same thing - he looked concerned and slightly anxious as he sat up and turned to face Blaine. "Ooo-kay," he said slowly. "What's up?"

"I -" Blaine began, wishing he could just stop right there and forget the conversation all together. "There's no easy way for me to say this."

Kurt looked alarmed. "Just say it, Blaine." Blaine could hear the edge in Kurt's voice that indicated his defenses were going up. Ohgod ohgod ohgod. How could this be happening?

"Umm. Okay." Blaine took a deep breath. "What would you think about us maybe taking a break for a little while? Like for the first few months of college?"

It seemed that all of the color had drained from Kurt's already pale face. "Why?" he asked. He was clearly fighting hard to remain calm, but Blaine could see the panic in his eyes. Blaine imagined that he probably wore a similar expression.

"I just - I think we should get the full experience, you know? Adjust on our own, learn to be independent. So we don't hold each other back." Blaine was surprised the words were still coming out of his mouth. It all made very rational sense, of course, except for the fact that the idea of not being with Kurt made him want to crawl into a hole and die. But he had to keep reminding himself he was doing this for Kurt. So Kurt could get the college experience he deserved. _For Kurt_.

"Is this what you want?" Kurt asked shakily.

_Of course not_, Blaine thought. For a brief moment, he considered flinging himself across the couch and kissing away the hurt expression on Kurt's face. Instead, he shook that idea out of his head and lied. "Yes. I think it could be good for us." _Not for us. Not for me. For you._

"Fine," Kurt said bluntly.

"What?" Blaine said in surprise. He had expected a stronger reaction than this. He had thought - hoped, actually - that Kurt would put up a fight.

"Fine. Let's go on a break."

Blaine felt as if his stomach had dropped out of his body. This had been his idea in the first place, of course, but somehow hearing those words come out of Kurt's mouth made it all so much more real. He was already beginning to regret his decision.

Meanwhile, Kurt's mind was reeling. He had barely even registered anything Blaine had said by way of explanation. Something about getting the full experience, and not holding each other back? It didn't matter. Kurt knew what this was really about. They were going to college, and Blaine didn't want to be tied down anymore. He didn't want Kurt anymore. It was that simple. Kurt had been foolish to think that they would be together forever.

Kurt stood up abruptly. He needed to get out of here immediately. He was teetering on the verge of a breakdown, and he wanted to be as far away from Blaine as possible when it finally crashed over him. "I need to go," he said.

Blaine watched him in shock, wracking his mind for something - anything - to say that might make this situation better. "Kurt -" he said feebly. He felt as if he was watching Kurt slip through his fingers, and yet he didn't know how told hold on to him.

"If' we're going on a break, we might as well start now. Goodbye, Blaine," Kurt said in a hollow voice. And with that, he turned on his heel and left Blaine's house, forcing himself to walk at a normal pace. It was bad enough that he had just been dumped - he was going to do everything he could to appear cool and composed. The last thing he wanted was to come off as some pathetic, heartbroken dumpee.

Back in the house, Blaine sat slumped on the couch, talking himself out of chasing after Kurt and yelling that he hadn't meant it, that he took it all back. He was terrified by Kurt's reaction, which was completely unexpected. Tears and screaming would have been horrible, but somehow the cold, eerily calm response he had gotten was much worse. It was like he could see the walls going up around Kurt, and he wondered whether he would ever be able to knock them back down. He could feel fear begin to seep through him, and he was suddenly very aware that he may have just made the biggest mistake of his life.

Two blocks away, Kurt's car was pulled up alongside the curb, its driver hunched over the steering wheel, sobbing uncontrollably.

* * *

><p>The next few days were miserable for both of them.<p>

Kurt did his best to stay as busy as possible. He had thrown himself into packing for college and was in the midst of intensive rehab with his girls - chocolate, shopping sprees, sleepovers, etc. He flat-out refused to talk about Blaine, and whenever anyone asked, he insisted he was fine. But the fact that he had worn sweatpants for the first time in his life and barely commented on the girls' latest purchases from the mall made it abundantly clear that this was not the case.

Blaine, on the other hand, refused to get out of his bed, even though he was barely sleeping. He had no appetite, no interest in seeing his friends, no desire to do anything at all, really. He just felt numb. Even his favorite Disney movies couldn't cheer him up - they just made him think of all the times he had watched them while snuggled in bed with Kurt. He spent most of the time staring at his phone, praying for Kurt to call and wondering vaguely whether his behavior was pathetic. He supposed it probably was, but he honestly couldn't be bothered to care. Without Kurt, he was finding it hard to care about anything.

On the third day, Blaine finally cracked and decided to call Kurt. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he needed to hear Kurt's voice. Unfortunately, Kurt did not answer his phone when Blaine called. He was at the mall with Mercedes, and when he saw Blaine's name on his caller ID, he silently handed the phone to her and pretended to be interested in a window display of candles, trying to ignore the iron fist that seemed to have clenched around his heart.

Undeterred, Blaine continued calling, praying that Kurt would get annoyed and pick up eventually. He was right. When Kurt did finally answer, Blaine nearly sobbed with relief. "Kurt!" he cried happily. He was so excited that he actually sat up in bed for the first time in several days.

Kurt did not share his enthusiasm. "Blaine, please stop calling," he said tiredly. "We're on a break. We shouldn't be talking." And then he hung up.

Blaine collapsed back into bed and contemplated suffocating himself with a pillow.

* * *

><p>One month later found Kurt and Blaine settling into their new lives at NYU.<p>

Blaine was having a hard time. He liked his roommate and the people on his floor, he found his classes interesting, and he was completely in awe of New York. But he felt Kurt's absence in everything he did, and he couldn't help but notice that, without Kurt around, his life was lacking in a certain joy that had once seemed omnipresent. He had seen Kurt once, in a coffeehouse near campus. Kurt had been surrounded by a group of friends (Blaine noted jealously that the group included several attractive guys); Blaine had been alone. He had desperately wanted to go over and say hi, but Kurt looked like he was having the time of his life, and Blaine didn't want to interrupt. Instead, he had given a hopeful wave, to which Kurt responded with a jerky nod before turning away.

On the surface, at least, Kurt was doing considerably better than Blaine. He had made lots of friends, he loved the fast pace of the city, and he had aleady gotten involved with several music and theater groups. He had even met and flirted with a few guys who he thought were cute. When he had seen Blaine in the coffeehouse, he made a point of laughing and looking as happy and well-adjusted as possible, hoping it would show Blaine what he was missing. Afterwards, he had gone straight back to his room, crawled into bed, and cried himself to sleep.

They didn't see each other again until a Friday night nearly two months into the semester. Blaine's floormates had convinced him to come out clubbing with them, and after a few drinks, he was feeling better than he had in a very long time. That is, until he got jostled around by the crowd and found himself staring directly at Kurt, who was dancing far too suggestively with a very tall, very attractive blond guy. They were laughing about something, clearly having a grand old time. Blaine felt a hot wave of jealousy crash over him as he watched the way the guy's hands lingered low on Kurt's back, nearly touching his ass.

Perhaps it was the alcohol making him bold, but Blaine suddenly found himself grabbing Kurt's arm and dragging him away from the guy, into a slightly quieter corner of the club.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Kurt said furiously, yanking his arm out of Blaine's grasp.

"I could ask you the same thing," Blaine shot back. "Do you know him?"

"We met tonight," Kurt said defiantly. "His name is Jeremy."

"What are you doing with him?" Blaine demanded. The rational part of his brain knew that he had no right to be mad, but he couldn't help himself.

"We were dancing, Blaine," Kurt snapped. "Am I not allowed to dance with people?"

"Not with guys you barely know!" Blaine yelled. Couldn't Kurt see what this was doing to him? "Not right in front of me!"

"Why the fuck not? We're not together Blaine, remember?" Kurt shouted. "Did you expect me to just wait around for you to get your fill of being single?"

"Of course not! But I also didn't expect you to be fucking random guys!" Blaine could feel tears pricking at his eyes.

"I'm not _fucking_ anyone, Blaine!" Kurt screamed. "But you know what? Jeremy seems like a nice guy. I think I'll let him fuck me tonight. Excuse me." He shoved past Blaine and headed over to where Jeremy was still alone on the dance floor. Blaine watched, shell-shocked, as Kurt took Jeremy's hand and whispered something in his ear. He saw Jeremy's face light up, and then he and Kurt were moving through the crowd and disappearing out the door.

Blaine wandered back to his friends in a daze and told them what had happened. They responded by ordering a round of shots, then another, and another, until Blaine lost count. He didn't protest - all he wanted was to get so drunk that he forgot everything that had happened. He wanted to forget the fight he had just had with Kurt, forget that Kurt was probably fucking Jeremy right now, forget that Kurt even existed at all. He just wanted to not feel anything.

Back in his room, Kurt lay alone in his bed. He and Jeremy had gone to get pizza, then Kurt had claimed to not being feeling well and escaped to his dorm. He had briefly entertained the idea of hooking up with Jeremy, but as much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't stand the idea of being with someone other than Blaine. And so he was alone, wondering whether this horrible feeling of emptiness would ever go away.

* * *

><p>Blaine awoke the next morning feeling what he imagined a person might feel like if he or she had recently been run over by a bus. He had barely opened his eyes when he was hit by a powerful wave of nausea. Staggering to his feet from where he had evidently passed out face-first on the floor, he bolted to the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. The rest of the morning was spent in a similar fashion, leaning against the wall next to the toilet and vomiting every so often. Blaine had never been so hungover in his entire life, not even, he thought with a sharp pang of sadness, on the morning he had woken up in Kurt's bed after Rachel's party. He found that he was almost grateful for the sickness, though - it was distracting him from thinking about what had happened between him and Kurt last night, and worse still, what he assumed had happened between Kurt and Jeremy.<p>

The next day, Blaine had recovered enough from his hangover to leave the room, but he opted not to. He seemed to have hit a new low - the idea of Kurt sleeping with another guy was excruciating, and yet it was all he could think about. He and Kurt had only ever been with each other, and to think that someone else had gotten to touch Kurt, to kiss him and watch him come apart, was simply too much to bear.

By Monday, Blaine had run out of snacks in his room and was forced to venture out in search of food. He was standing on line at the coffeehouse - the one where he had seen Kurt - when he heard a familiar voice behind him. "Blaine?" He turned around to see Rachel Berry observing him with raised eyebrows. "You look awful," she said frankly.

"Hey, Rachel." He attempted a smile and failed.

"I guess this break with Kurt isn't treating you too well, then?" Rachel said.

"Not at all," Blaine replied with a sigh.

"Why don't you tell him that?"

"I - I don't think -"  
>In typical Rachel fashion, she cut him off before he could finish. "He thinks you don't want him, Blaine. Show him that you do and he'll come back to you."<p>

Blaine stared at her. "You really think so?"

She nodded. "Yes. And for God's sake, clean yourself up. You really do look awful."

He grinned half-heartedly. "Thanks, Rachel."

* * *

><p>Upon returning to his room, Blaine saw that Rachel was right about his appearance - he looked terrible. His hair was mess, his face was covered in scruff, and his clothes were rumpled and dirty. He wanted to go talk to Kurt immediately, but decided a shower might be a good idea first. He couldn't be bothered to shave, and he still looked exhausted, but at least his body was clean and his clothes fresh when he set out for Kurt's room fifteen minutes later.<p>

He had decided to take Rachel's advice. He simply couldn't go on any longer trying to feel okay about something that was so clearly _not_ okay. He was going to tell Kurt how he felt and see what happened. He was terrified, of course, but he could see no other option. And maybe, if Rachel was right, things could be fixed between them. He didn't dare let himself hope that they might get back together, but at this point, he would welcome even the smallest progress, as long as it meant Kurt was back in his life.

Blaine found himself outside Kurt's door sooner than anticipated. Taking a deep breath, he knocked in what he hoped was a confident manner. There were a few moments of agonizing anticipation, and then the door swung open to reveal Kurt, looking breathtaking as ever. He seemed shocked to find Blaine standing outside his door.

"I miss you," Blaine said.

Kurt slammed the door in his face.

**Part II coming soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, so initially this was just going to be a two-shot, but the second part ended up being longer than I expected, so I'm splitting it up into this and a third chapter. There's some light smut in this chapter, but it focuses more on emotions and Kurt and Blaine sorting things out (yay!). And then next chapter will be a complete smutfest. Feedback is always appreciated... For some reason, I had a hard time getting this chapter out - it just didn't flow the way I wanted it to - so I'd be curious to know what you guys think. **

The Break - Part II

Before the door had slammed, Kurt had been hit by three emotions in very rapid succession. First, he had been shocked to see Blaine on his doorstep. Then his heart had skipped a beat when he heard Blaine say he missed him. And then he had remembered that he was not supposed to care about Blaine anymore, and promptly slammed the door in his face.

Now that the door was safely shut, Kurt gave himself a moment to think. He thought about how easy it had been for Blaine to shatter the fragile world of semi-sanity he had created for himself with three little words. He thought that he should probably be furious with Blaine for doing so. He thought that the rational thing to do would be to leave the door closed, to forget that this had ever happened, and to move on with his life.

But then he thought about how sad Blaine had looked, and how the light scruff that had appeared on his jaw was actually kind of sexy. He thought about how much he had missed Blaine during these past two months, and how miserable he was without Blaine in his life. And he thought that, as a self-proclaimed romantic, now was perhaps the time to forget about being rational and instead follow his heart. And so, ten seconds after he had slammed the door in Blaine's face, he opened it again.

Blaine was standing exactly where Kurt had left him, although now there was an expression of the sheerest agony on his face and he looked as if he was on the verge of collapsing. Indeed, when Kurt shut the door on him, Blaine felt as if he had been punched in the stomach - he was sure he had lost Kurt forever, and suddenly he was consumed by crushing despair. But then the door reopened, and before Blaine even had time to register what this meant, he was being pulled inside by the front of his shirt and slammed against the back of the door. And then Kurt's lips were on his, and they were kissing with feverish urgency, hands clutching at each other's faces, bodies melded together.

It was bliss - sheer bliss. Blaine felt like he was melting into Kurt's touch, because Kurt was everywhere, and all he could taste and feel and breathe was Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. After all this time, all the misery and the heartbreak, he was back exactly where he wanted to be, and he wildly thought that, as long as Kurt was kissing him, he could probably die right now and be happy about it.

"_God_, I missed you," Kurt panted as he finally pulled his lips away and began sucking on Blaine's neck.

Blaine could only groan in agreement, because at that moment Kurt had rolled hips in such a way that rubbed right _there_, rendering any sort of coherent response temporarily impossible.

It was all so perfect and it felt so damn _good_ to be with Kurt again that Blaine very nearly forgot everything that had happened between them in the past two months. But then he opened his eyes and realized that Kurt's room was completely unfamiliar to him because oh yeah, he had never seen it before. Because he had never visited. Because they weren't together. Fuck.

As much as he hated the idea of stopping what they were doing, Blaine decided that they needed to talk before Kurt did that thing with his hips again and sent him careening past the point of no return. He needed to know what Kurt was thinking, what this meant, before things went any farther, because if it turned out this was just a hookup to Kurt - well, Blaine wasn't sure he would survive that.

"Kurt," he panted against Kurt's lips, which were now attached to his once more. "We need to talk about this."

"Talk later," Kurt murmured, pressing himself more tightly against Blaine and - fuck - rolling his hips again.

"Kurt, I'm serious," Blaine persevered, placing his hands on Kurt's chest and gently pushing him away.

The change in Kurt's demeanor was instantaneous. Suddenly the walls were back up, his face arranged in a carefully calculated expression of indifference. "Fine. What?" he said coolly, crossing his arms.

"Hey, don't get like that," Blaine said soothingly, reaching for Kurt's hand. Kurt reluctantly allowed him to take it. "_Believe_ me, I don't want to stop. I just - there are some things I need to say to you first."

Kurt's guard was clearly still up, but his expression softened slightly, and he nodded. "Okay. Say them."

Blaine took a deep breath and began. "I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I suggested this break -" he winced at the word "- in the first place. It wasn't because I didn't want you, Kurt. I never stopped wanting you. God, if you had _any_ idea... But New York has always been your dream, and I didn't - I don't - want to get in the way of that. I was afraid you wouldn't be able to do everything that you wanted to do with me around all the time. I was worried I'd just... hold you back," he admitted, forcing himself to look Kurt in the eye as he confessed these deepest of his insecurities.

Kurt stared at him for a while, his expression unreadable. Then, finally, he said, "You really are clueless."

This was not the response Blaine had been expecting. "I - what?" he said, confused.

Kurt took a step towards him. "Blaine. Do I seem like the type of person who can be _held back_ from doing what I want?"

Blaine shook his head.

"Exactly. And you are the last person who would ever get in the way of my dreams. If anything, it's you who gives me the courage to pursue them when I'm not strong enough to do it on my own," Kurt said, squeezing Blaine's hand. "And as for New York - yes, it was always my dream, and it still is. But after we got together, you became part of that dream too. The biggest part."

Blaine's heart soared at these words. "Me too - I mean, you're mine too - us, together, here," he stammered, struggling to find the words to express how he was feeling. "God, Kurt, I'm sorry, I am _so_ sorry I fucked us up so badly -"

"Shhh," Kurt said, throwing his arms around Blaine and hugging him tightly.

"So does this mean this godforsaken break is over?" Blaine said into Kurt's shoulder.

"Is that what you want?" Kurt asked, pulling back slightly to look Blaine in the eye.

"More than anything," Blaine replied without hesitation.

"Then yes, that's what it means," Kurt said with a radiant smile.

This time it was Blaine who went in for the kiss, crushing his mouth against Kurt's in a way that was meant to convey how perfectly, blissfully happy he was in this moment. He had spent months fantasizing about being able to kiss Kurt again, but feeling Kurt's lips moving against his transcended even the most vivid of his fantasies. It was heaven, and Blaine was sure, just as he had been sure during their break, that he would never, ever want to kiss anyone else for the rest of his life.

And then he remembered that the same could not be said of Kurt. Because just three days ago, Kurt had been kissing - no, not just kissing, _fucking_ - another guy. The realization hit him like a blow to the chest, and suddenly he was pushing Kurt away again because he was having trouble breathing.

This time, Kurt looked confused and alarmed. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know if I can do this right now," Blaine said, avoiding Kurt's gaze.

"Why not?"

Blaine spoke with a voice full of anguish. "I'm sorry, I know I have no right to be upset, but thinking of you with someone other than me, I can't -" He was close to tears now.

"Blaine, what are you talking about?"

"The other night - that guy. Jeremy. You said - you said you were going to -" he couldn't even bring himself to say it.

Kurt suddenly remembered what he had screamed at Blaine before departing with Jeremy on Friday night, and he understood. He couldn't believe Blaine was so broken up about it, but then he thought about _Blaine_ sleeping with someone else, and his stomach clenched.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt breathed. "I didn't - nothing happened. We didn't even kiss."

A spark of hope flickered in Blaine's eyes. "But you said -"

"I only said that because I was angry and I wanted to piss you off."

"So you didn't - you haven't?"

"Only with you," Kurt whispered, reaching up a hand to tenderly stroke the side of Blaine's face.

Blaine closed his eyes in relief, a huge smile lighting up his face. "Thank God," he sighed.

And then they were kissing again, and this time, there were no more interruptions.

**A/N: Sorry to end it like this... please stay tuned and I promise the next chapter will be worth it! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: At long last, the makeup sex! This is basically a total smutfest. But it's a fluffy smutfest! So... I hope you like it :). And I really hate to be that girl who asks for reviews, but they really do mean so much to me, so if you feel like it, I'd love to know what you think! And a huge thank you to those of you who have already reviewed/favorited/put this story on alert. I love you for it! Alright, sorry, enough talking - on to the sex!**

The Break - Part III

_And then they were kissing again, and this time, there were no more interruptions_.

Everything that had needed to be said had been said, and now it was time to rememorize each other, to share once more that which they had only ever shared with each other. Every touch was a mixture of sweetness and desperation; they wanted to savor every moment and yet they were consumed with a raw need that rendered it impossible to take things slow. The conflict only served to make everything more intense. The air was filled with sharp gasps and contented moans as lips rediscovered favorite spots and hands traced familiar patterns. After over a year of learning _exactly_ how to touch each other, two months had not made them forget.

It soon became clear that kissing, spectacular as it was, was not enough. Although their bodies were pressed tightly together, they needed more contact - the feeling of skin on skin. Kurt slid his hands under Blaine's shirt and pulled it up and over his head, fingertips grazing appreciatively over Blaine's toned chest and stomach. He traced the cut V lines that disappeared temptingly beneath Blaine's jeans - God, he had missed Blaine's body - and felt Blaine shudder slightly beneath his touch. He continued his wandering exploration, sliding two fingers beneath the waistband of Blaine's boxers and tugging playfully. Blaine responded with a whine, kissing Kurt hungrily and pleadingly pressing the hardness in his pants against Kurt's thigh. Kurt smirked - he had always loved how needy Blaine got when he was horny.

Blaine was in no mood to be teased. He felt like a starving man who had happened upon a feast - he wanted to devour Kurt, to touch and taste every inch of his skin and never let him go. It had been far too long since he had been with Kurt like this, and now was not the time for messing around. He was so overwhelmed with love and desire that he could barely think straight - everything was sensation, and it was simultaneously too much and not nearly enough. He felt animalistic, as if his body had begun acting of its own accord.

Impatient with the amount of clothing still in his way, he nearly ripped Kurt's shirt off and cast it aside, then spun them around so that Kurt was the one pressed up against the door. Kurt gave a small "oof" of surprise but responded enthusiastically - he loved it when Blaine got a little aggressive. As he began sucking on the underside of Kurt's jaw, Blaine unashamedly rubbed his groin hard against Kurt's thigh, desperately seeking the pressure that Kurt - he had always been a fucking tease - was refusing to provide.

Gripping Kurt's hips, Blaine began kissing and licking a hot trail down Kurt's body, finally dropping to his knees before him. He kissed Kurt's hip bones, then glanced up at him with lust-darkened eyes. "I love you," he said, voice raw with emotion.

Kurt was slightly taken aback by this sudden, heartfelt declaration, especially when Blaine was on his knees and about to blow him. But it was so very _Blaine_ to announce what he was feeling exactly when he was feeling it, regardless of the situation, and his words filled Kurt with a warmth and sense of rightness that he hadn't felt in a very long time. He blinked away the tears stinging at his eyes and smiled. "I love you too," he said softly, and suddenly, the entire mood shifted. The desperation was still there, but the urgency was gone, replaced by an indescribable tenderness that made Kurt's heart ache in the best way possible.

Blaine beamed up at him. With trembling hands, he unfastened Kurt's pants and tugged them down, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of Kurt's thigh. He hesitated briefly as he reached for Kurt's boxer briefs, feeling strangely nervous. He had done this so many times before, and yet after their time apart, it almost felt new again. He looked up at Kurt and saw that he was watching Blaine intently, biting his lip in the same way he had the first time Blaine had ever sucked him off. Taking comfort in the fact that Kurt clearly felt the same way he did, Blaine pulled Kurt's underwear down and wrapped his hand around his cock, stroking firmly.

The familiar weight of Kurt in his hand eased his nerves, and, with growing confidence, he took Kurt in his mouth. Kurt gave a breathy little moan of approval, his hips jerking forward slightly. It had been far too long since he had been engulfed in the exquisitely wet heat of Blaine Anderson's mouth. And now Blaine was hollowing out his cheeks and working his tongue in exactly the way Kurt liked, and _fuck_ because if he kept that up this was all going to be over very quickly. Appealing as the thought of coming down Blaine's throat was, Kurt wanted their first time back together to be more than that. He wanted - needed - to be inside of Blaine, to feel Blaine moving beneath him and watch him shatter and come undone.

"Wait, huhh, mmm, Blaine, stop" Kurt managed to say between stuttered breaths. He grabbed a handful of Blaine's curls and tugged gently as Blaine slid his mouth off of Kurt's dick. "Come up here."

Blaine stood, looking perplexed. Kurt kissed him, then murmured, "I want to fuck you. Please, oh God, _please_ say I can -"

The words were barely out of Kurt's mouth before Blaine was nodding and saying, "Okay. Yes, okay, please, yes," he said, punctuating each word with a kiss. Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine deeply, knotting his fingers in Blaine's hair.

And now the urgency was back, though it did not replace the tenderness. Kurt kicked off his pants and boxers and walked Blaine backwards towards the bed, unbuttoning and unzipping Blaine's jeans as they went. Blaine's legs hit the bed and he toppled backwards on to it, gazing up at Kurt with such reverence that it made Kurt's heart hurt. Remembering the broken look on Blaine's face when he had thought Kurt slept with Jeremy, Kurt was suddenly overcome by a desire to take care of Blaine, to love him and make him feel good and show him that it had only ever been him that Kurt wanted to be with like this.

Blaine propped himself up on his elbows and watched as Kurt finished undressing him, slowly peeling off his jeans and boxers. "You're gorgeous," Kurt said, crawling on top of Blaine and straddling him.

"You're beautiful," Blaine replied as Kurt leaned in for a kiss. Kurt blushed and reached into the drawer of his bedside table, pulling out a bottle of lube. He slid a pillow under Blaine's hips and slicked up his fingers, listening as Blaine's breathing sped up in anticipation. "Ready?" he said, his forehead resting against Blaine's. Blaine nodded jerkily.

Kurt reached down and lightly brushed his fingers over Blaine's opening. Blaine gasped at the contact. Going very slowly - he knew this would be painful for Blaine, and he wanted to be as gentle as possible - he pressed one finger inside and stopped, waiting for Blaine to adjust. Blaine hissed and winced - it always stung a bit at first, but he hadn't been touched there in two months, and it hurt more than usual. "I'm sorry," Kurt said, pressing a reassuring kiss to Blaine's lips.

"S'okay," Blaine breathed. "Keep going." He was so desperate to feel Kurt inside of him that he didn't even care all that much about the pain.

Kurt began moving his finger very gingerly, and when Blaine seemed ready, he added a second. Blaine's eyes were squeezed shut, his lips slightly parted, and he was beginning to whimper and move beneath Kurt's touch. "More," he begged, his fingers digging into the soft sheets of Kurt's bed.

Kurt added a third finger, and a sharp cry not long after told him he had found Blaine's prostate. He knew from experience how having his prostate touched turned Blaine into a wanton whore, and Kurt reveled in the familiar way Blaine's body bent up towards his as Kurt stroked the spot again and again.

Blaine seemed to be nearly past the point of coherent speech - a collection of shuddering gasps and shaking breaths was pouring from his mouth, and his entire body was trembling. Kurt couldn't take it anymore - he needed to be inside. "Blaine," he said shakily, surprised to find that he was having trouble speaking as well. "Blaine, I'm going to make love to you now." Blaine groaned at his words, a deep, drawn-out groan that was filled with desire and emotion.

Kurt pulled his fingers out of Blaine, kissing his forehead as Blaine hissed at the sudden feeling of emptiness. Kurt spread lube over his cock and then leaned down over Blaine, kissing the side of his neck. "I love you," he murmured into Blaine's ear.

The lack of prostate stimulation had allowed Blaine to regain a modicum of coherency, and he responded, "I love you too," before pulling Kurt in for a kiss.

"This is all I've ever wanted," Kurt said, and Blaine knew what he meant. This level of intimacy, this ultimate act of love - they were only ever meant to share it with each other.

"Me too," Blaine whispered.

They were both shaking, foreheads pressed together and lips nearly touching. With another kiss, Kurt slid into Blaine, and they gasped into each other's mouths. They had always fit together perfectly, but now that there had been time apart, even the possibility of other partners, it seemed more true than ever before. Kurt began moving, and the feeling was exquisite - Blaine was so hot and tight and being inside of him again made Kurt feel as if he had finally found his way home.

Blaine was clutching at Kurt's shoulders and writhing beneath him, crying out as Kurt hit his prostate with each thrust. All he could think of was how utterly perfect this moment was, how completely full and satisfied he felt with Kurt inside of him. Their bodies were moving in a familiar rhythm, fingers digging into hot flesh and sounds of pleasure mixed with desperation falling from their lips. Blaine came first, seconds after Kurt had reached between them to stroke his cock, and he looked so beautiful that Kurt followed almost immediately, collapsing on top of Blaine with a shout.

They lay like that for a while, still joined as one, until the stickiness between them became uncomfortable and Kurt slid out of Blaine and rolled on to his back. Grabbing some tissues, he cleaned them up before turning on his side to face Blaine.

"Hey," Kurt said, reaching out to stroke Blaine's face.

"Hey," Blaine replied. "I missed you."

Kurt nodded. "I missed you too."

Blaine sighed happily and snuggled up against Kurt's chest, burying his face in Kurt's shoulder. He was already thinking of all the things they could do now that they were together again - all of the adventures they had talked about over the summer, plus so much more. The images filling his head made him so happy he thought his heart would burst. But for now, all he really wanted was to lie here with Kurt, to breathe him in and feel his presence and thank his lucky stars that the break hadn't ruined them.

And now that it was over, now that he was lying here with Kurt and everything was perfect again, he wondered if perhaps, some time in the future, he would be able to look back on their time apart as a good thing. Because truth be told, he had never appreciated Kurt so much, never felt so in love with him as he did in this moment. No, the break hadn't ruined them - if anything, it had made them stronger.

The End

**Thanks for reading :)**


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